To share a small introduction about myself here, I love my lone time and 2020 has by far been the best year for me since a long time. The main reason is that I have had so much time to try new things. Being all by myself for the first time in 30+ years, I have enjoyed every bit of my kitchen life.

However, as a mother to a pre-schooler, I had to take time to understand about the lockdown life of kids. It was not easy as I could not understand what was missing in a Threenager’s life.

As a mother who loves her lone time, I thought my daughter wouldn’t mind missing her social life. It was not easy for her, she was more frustrated than me, she had more mood swings than I did in 2020. I really wondered what someone so young needs in this pandemic apart from a safe haven?

A safe haven? That’s just survival! It is a duty of an adult to provide a healthy and safe environment for their kids. It is nothing exceptional. What we are talking about is enjoying their childhood. The actual enjoyment in developing their basic abilities, learning to express their needs and wants and also building relationships.

The Traditional Mother

Many times I follow the traditional mother approach of being the over-caring parent, the over-protective parent and a bit of helicoptering her in almost everything she did even after she turned 3(that sure felt like she became a teenager). Though I felt I was doing everything required to keep her happy, I figured slowly that I could not.

At the end of the day, I am still a mother who says NO to jumping in a muddy puddle. Even if I allowed her to jump a couple of times, I am not definitely her friend to join her in that muddy puddle. I think about cleaning her up, the amount of dirt that might be in that puddle, and that stern look on my face which says, “Kid, Now don’t put that hand in your mouth!”

Imagine having parks closed, schools closed and not visiting friends or family. With many of us sticking to 1 child policy, it is one parent who ends up spending their whole day with the kid.

I have learned to accept mess and let her be. Instead we focus on cleaning up after the mess. All I ever need to do is pause and think back to our times. The fun we had outside for hours with cousins and friends. Remembering my childhood makes me feel awful for my daughter now. So, I have backed off a lot from saying NO to many things.

No, not out of pity, but because it is her time. Her time to do things by herself, learn to stand up for herself. Also, to have the courage to say NO to parents when she is definitely not up for something. Also, to be pleased to say YES when she is interested and happy about something.

Lockdown Life of Kids

I must agree that just like many kids, mine felt lonely many times in the lockdown life. She broke down whenever she talked to her grandparents and saw them at a gathering. It was frustrating her nerves when her parents were busy on call with work or their friends, when she did not have anyone to talk with apart from them.

I remember her telling me once, “Amma, we have toys, but I don’t have anyone to play it with!” That just tore me. We buy thinking they’ll play. Truly what’s the purpose of play? While we are busy teaching them about emotions, as parents, we don’t really know how to deal with some intense emotions. Frustrations of kids being one of the most common one during this lockdown life.

I have complained when she was frustrated, I have personally failed to understand a 3-year-old. While we were busy worrying about our social life flying out of the window, there is someone so little who does not even know where to start about their social life.

It took me a lot of self-learning about children’s mind to understand about her emotions. She broke down many times during the lockdown and coming to think of it now, it all makes sense. We’ve hugged more in 2020 than ever. I have shared with her about how much I love her and also, apologized to her about many of my behaviours in 2020.

Social Life of a Growing Child

It took me a while to understand that children miss their social life too. Humans are social animals. Children are just starting to form their social relationships. They are constantly understanding the world around them and learning to form relationships. They are also on the peak notes of understanding what behaviour is acceptable and what is not.

The need to be accepted in a social group is more in their first 8 years of life. I was thinking about my school and college days. Those days, I never wanted to take a day off, it was mainly because of friends. That’s the way I felt at 16 or even 20. So, it is absolutely common for her to want to meet someone.

I have learned one important lesson during this pandemic about children. These little guys have missed every bit of the social life ever needed during their prime life. From technological gadgets being baby-sitters to becoming parent approved educational gadgets, we have seen it all in 2020.

When schools reopened in UK, many of us were only scared of what the pandemic could do to our children. Personally, to both of us as parents, we were thinking about only one thing. Nothing more than a school atmosphere will make a child happy.

I agree about home-schooling and all. Personally, I am not a great accomplisher of home-schooling methods. Even if I took it up, I would definitely need at least 2 more children for my child to fulfil her social needs.

A 3 Year Old Kid’s Life During Lockdown

Since we moved to a new country just in time before the lockdown, we needed sometime to settle into our new home. By the end of the month, Spring had begun. We took walks within our community. I was not willing to take my daughter even to the supermarket until Autumn. Actually, children were not allowed in supermarkets during the peak of the pandemic. My husband was kind enough to take care of every bit of shopping.

By Summer 2020, we started with small walks outside and started grocery shopping with my daughter. Summer was one of the most interesting period because her father had fixed a cute carrier seat for her in his bicycle. While I was busy baking my way to glory, these two enjoyed their rides to the park. Of course, the play area was closed, the swings were tied up. The gates to the slides were locked. Still, the cycle rides made her feel so much better.

By autumn, we got busy applying for school and getting ready for it. When school reopened, which we never expected, we were so happy at her excitement. Again came the second lockdown right after Christmas holidays, which made her feel pretty crazy. Sometimes it gets boring at home staring at each other even though we were learning a lot!

Then came winter. By the peak of winter, came the second lockdown. Even during freezing cold she only asked me why she could not go to school. This also knocked me and I really felt bad for her for not being able to go to school. She also learned about Corona only during the second lockdown.

Still, that was the time we learned best about their school and how they work. It was an interesting phase since I got the opportunity to sit down and do the activities with her.

Our kids miss their social life too, if they are feeling miserable or frustrated, pause and think about this: How long have they been inside these 4 walls? This might help!

The post Missing Social Life | Lockdown Life of Kids appeared first on One Happy Amma.

If I have to sum up a Threenager or pre-schooler in one word, I would like to choose..

REBEL

Yes, all in capitals. That’s what I feel about my daughter, to say the least.

Threenager Diaries

According to a Threenager, one must rebel for everything in daily life. I feel their learning of struggle and understanding the essence of power starts here! Be it waking up in the morning, or getting out of the bathtub, saying NO to going to school and also shouting NO to coming back from school. Just about everything.

From what she wants to eat to what she does not want to eat, also to why she wants to eat that same thing everyday. Crying to switch the TV on, also crying to switch the TV off! Phew..

As a parent, if there is one thing I learned, but working hard to practice, is to stay put and be the silent audience. Start an argument or share an advice, both comes back to you in mysterious ways when you don’t really want to hear them!

Long Conversations about Anything

We have a lot of long conversations nowadays and her curiosity makes me laugh as well as makes me pull out every strand of hair before she shifts to another topic. eg. The Why Amma?

Sometimes I wonder how much my daughter has grown; sometimes, I want her to grow a little more to enjoy more familiar things. However, most times, I want her to remain this little darling for some more time. Don’t laugh at my confusions as a mother! There’s more to that.

We also have deep conversations about potty! One of the topic that piques her interest immediately is talking about potty. Since I have not many inputs to give her about it, I let her do the talking. With so many videos on YOUTUBE in the name of potty training, I had to block a long list that was purely disturbing.

Talking about potty is not embarrassing, it is a good habit, the curiosity is there about what one does inside the bathroom, at this age. Beyond that, it is important to keep an eye on what the child watches on the Internet.

Getting into the details of a couple of conversations that interested me to share this post!

What did Naina(Father) Just Do?

The other day when my husband had dried one of my t-shirt on the newly bought slide, she went up to him and asked if he thought it was a person? He said No, dear, it is a plaything.

To which she asked, then why did you dress up the slide? She took my slightly dry t-shirt and put it back on the sofa with the other clothes. We laughed so hard that day and I could still laugh about it.

The same conversation came up a few days later when we were discussing our recent movie. By then, I forgot about the slide conversation. The cinema news will appear shortly!

On another evening my daughter told me she needed to ask me something. I was curious to know what this question would be, dragons, dinosaurs, or any other creature.

Suddenly little Lakki asked me, Is the slide a person? I told her, No dear, it is a thing, just like a chair or table. Why do you think so? She was pondering over what I told her.

After a few seconds of deep thought, she asked me, Do you think dad thought the slide was a person?
Laughing somewhat at her thought, I told her why he would think so? It is because he dressed up that slide the other day.

I laughed so hard, remembering the missed bits from the other evening. I couldn’t stop laughing; still, I asked my daughter in all sincerity, If she thought her father thought the slide was a person? She answered, Yes, Amma. I thought he did so; isn’t that why he dressed it up.

After laughing for what felt like 5 minutes, she understood what her father had done. He had just placed the cloth on the slide to dry it up since both of us were too exhausted and a teeny bit lazy to climb up the stairs to dry it.

Movie Experience with a 3-Year-Old

I am coming to the movie discussions that keep us busy nowadays. You must be already aware that I am proficient in Masha and the Bear, The Grizzy and the Lemmings, and Paddington. Well, we realized it is time to broaden our boundaries. 

We learn about Dinosaurs now. I can guarantee you that I know them a bit better now. I am not sure if I am proficient enough to hold a conversation with a 10-year-old about dinosaurs yet, but I am qualified to divert a 3-year-old with a dinosaur conversation. 

Thanks to Netflix for the numerous options, from short stories to movies on dinosaurs. I was initially apprehensive of showing her gory things so early. I didn’t want her to go kicking and fist-punching others(mainly me), thinking she was a dinosaur herself. 

Threenager Diaries: Into the World of Dinosaurs

My uncle made her watch this Jurassic World Lego Version, The Indominus Escape, on Netflix. She seemed to enjoy it. During another visit, he started the Jurassic World(2015) version for her. She loved and started identifying the dinosaurs from it.

She asked me so many questions about the dinosaurs. I have not thought so much about them myself for so many years. 

• Why did they die?
• How did they die? 
• Why are humans so cruel to dinosaurs? 
• Where do volcanoes exist? 
• What is that orange colour that comes out of a volcano?
• Does it hurt the dinosaurs?

I answered her after thinking a lot about it, but watching The fallen Kingdom gave her a fitting response. Humans injuring animals are going to be punished by animals is her verdict. She relates everything about animals to our two pet mongrels: Joy and Ruby. 

So, we bought this book Gigantosaurus by Johnny Duddle before a few months. It is about an imaginary dinosaur, Gigantosaurus, but it is a short story about four little dinosaurs who roamed about every day finding Giganto. I don’t want to bore you with my proficiency here about how much I know about dinosaurs.

I used to read the book to her almost ten times during the first week we bought it. She wanted me to read it while she drank milk in the morning, while she had her breakfast, during her lunch, her naptime story, her dinnertime story, and also her bedtime story. 

Initially, I was bored reading it so many times. When reading frequency reduced to 4-5 times a day, I decided to explain the story in 2 languages. It became interesting to search for equivalent words in thamizh and present it to her. 

She always liked Ankylosaurs because it kicks the Tyrannosaurus with the stone on its tail. She is also fond of Triceratops because it looks cute with three horns and the smallest one in the tribe of 4 dinosaurs from the book.

Threenager Diaries: Into the World of Dragons

Next, we entered the world of Dragons. Of course, which one other than a Night Fury could excite my daughter’s interests better? We have seen it thrice since the weekend. There is a web series on How to Train Your Dragon web series on Netflix. We watched a few episodes as well.

Recently, we bought the Night Fury toy so she could play with it. She is fond of it just like the dinosaurs and said that she would enjoy going on a ride on a dragon. Now, she wants to sit on our pet mongrel. I’m wondering what’s going to happen to the mongrel who is actually fond of her until now.

When we watched the movie first, she was not able to tell the name of the dragon. She went from calling him toothy, toothly, footless, truth less to finally toothless. I couldn’t contain my laughter, but I always made an effort to reiterate the right name to her. Finally, she found the muscle to say TOOTHLESS. Now, I can laugh about this even after I become toothless.

With a Threenager, there is so much to learn. Above everything, there is so much to unlearn. A peek into my Threenager’s diaries makes me laugh a lot and all these are just me cherishing memories about her growing up.

The post Threenager Diaries: The Growing up bits! appeared first on One Happy Amma.

First Playschool

Little lakki started her playschool in January 2020 at Little Millennium in Chennai. She cried for a whole week, threw tantrums that she did not want to go to school. By Pongal 2020, she was all set for her school rides! So, she cried a whole week, got fever the next, then got ready to go to school herself.

Just two months of school in Chennai, but she enjoyed it so much that it became a routine for her. She participated in a dance on their annual day before she bid farewell to her school. It was a warm farewell from her teachers and the entire school community.

In just two months, hardly 45 days, she managed to get bit by a classmate and also managed a group dance performance on stage.

Travel amidst Corona

My daughter and I managed to board the last flight from Chennai and enter UK right before the National Lockdown all over the globe. I didn’t really understand the intensity when I booked my tickets. A week before our travel, the situation was petrifying for me since I had to travel with my little girl.

I couldn’t cancel the tickets nor could I postpone it. So, I was left with just one choice, to go ahead and travel. As much as I was frightened, I was also keen to go ahead and travel. I did not want to miss this final chance to travel.

With both of us running temperature just before a week, my travel was doubtful. The tight medical checks happening in Dubai made me worried and a couple of good souls even warned that we might be deported.

When we reached Dubai, the airport was almost empty. The fear of getting deported was running high when I stepped down in the Dubai International Airport. Looks like I might never get tired of telling this story, so I’d write a separate blog post for this!

Anyway, I am still thankful for reaching UK with my little girl sound and safe. I was petrified throughout the journey.

Travel with a Toddler

My last travel was easy peasy since my little girl obliged to everything I told her and best of all slept during most part of the journey. This time, I had to keep my droopy eyes open to ensure she had not walked down the aisle since we had an empty seat next to mine.

After a long time, I was awake for more than 24 hours! My daughter was awake for 3.5 hours of the journey from Chennai to Dubai. Then dozed off when we were about to land! The same thing happened when we got near the destination airport too. When I got up to buckle her up in my sling, almost 4-5 people asked me if she slept and adviced me to take her safely! That much ruckus!

I woke her when we came to collect our baggage. The moment we met my husband, I realized how much easy we felt. The first thing I did was transfer her to her dad, leave everything there and run to the Bathroom! Phew! 5 minutes of relaxation!

Lockdown Chronicles

We entered national lockdown in a week’s time of our arrival. Somewhere inside me the fear of getting deported(a fear I had amidst Corona) was ruled out.

The change was super big. My daughter who wandered the streets, parks and shops with her grandfather just a couple of weeks before was now confined within four walls. Since she was thrilled to be with her father again, she did not complain initially. It took just a few video calls for her to ask her grandfather to come here and stay with her.

With winter almost wrapping the cold, Spring was about to begin, but the new chills made us shiver for almost a month since our arrival. As we welcomed Spring, we settled better in our new home.

We were lucky to live in a community filled with kids and summer was warm with all at home. Mostly the kids stayed out since it was a closed community and had nice fun. My daughter was lucky enough to meet lots of kids which was actually impossible back at our Chennai home.

Oh yes, we were scared initially to let the kids play with each other. However, we couldn’t let them stay confined within four walls for longer either. We joined them as most of the parents worked from home in 2020.

Toddler to Preschooler Birthday Drama

In May, when my toddler moved to a preschooler phase, things took a new direction. This was the first birthday we celebrated with calls from all over the globe. We had a birthday party call for the first time and it was funny.

We enjoyed baking a whole lot of goodies last year. As a toddler, she managed to offer some help in kitchen, but as a preschooler she ruled the kitchen much better.

She got her first Masha bicycle and pedelled her way with her friends. The time we spent scribbling with sidewalk chalks and taking sunbaths every morning still stays fresh on my mind. We would take turns or snuggle right by the balcony door with a large glass of warm water or lemon water.

Father-Daughter Duo

The one pleasure I enjoyed being with my husband was the father-daughter bonding with each other. It was such an endearing thing to watch. My husband had fit a baby cycle seat for my daughter in his bicycle and both of them enjoyed their daily cycling together.

At times, it looked like a circus to me. Still, she followed his every instruction and they both had so much fun. I joined them once on a travel to their usual park. She was instructing her father to wait for me as I pedalled with them. I enjoyed the journey to the park and it was fantastic exercise.

The daughter helped her father while he cooked, they even washed their clothes together sometimes. While the father mopped the floor, the daughter stood on the mop head and enjoyed her time. While the father and daughter danced like no one was watching, I was busy recording the fun.

There was a time when my husband’s phone was filled with photos of bikes. Now, I am surprised to find that he has so many videos of the time they spend together. It is like a dream come true, I enjoy watching these two together!

School Time

We were glad the government pushed the schools to open in September 2020. My daughter was excited right from the time the school opened. In fact, when I started from Chennai, I had a plan to put her in a playschool right after her birthday. However, getting a glimpse of the schools here felt wonderful.

Her father dropped her at school in the morning and I bring her back from school. I used to take the buggy with me since it took almost 12-15 minutes to reach her school by walk. For almost a month and a half, she enjoyed resting in her buggy with a snack.

There came a day when she was ready to walk the entire way herself leaving me surprised. Even though, the actual journey took 20-25 minutes, there is not a moment where I felt the necessity to urge her to walk fast unless she wanted to use the loo.

The schools closed in December for Christmas holidays with all of us bidding Merry Christmas wishes to teachers! With children, teachers and parents eagerly waiting to start the term in January, we got the first highlight of 2021.

Second wave has reached its peak and we are going to continue with homelearning for 6 weeks now!

More about the Threenager

You can read more about my toddler to preschooler chronicles here. If you are interested to do some activities, go on and read this.

That’s it folks! The transititon from a toddler to a preschooler is not easy on her or me. Still, we have chosen to learn with one mistake at a time, one step at a time and one day at time!

The post From a Toddler to a Preschooler in 2020 appeared first on One Happy Amma.

Why I write? That’s when even the most annoying incidents become the most amazing memories. I cannot really believe what writing about a threenager as a parent does to my mind.

It calms me so much that I understand her growing process and let her be. I just want to complaint about my threenager sometimes, but when I start writing about her, the feeling is different than what I expect.

As a parent, I am amazed by my threenager. It is surprising that I understand her better only when I write about her. Just going to share 10 Random Stuff only Parents of Threenagers can Rant. All based on real daily life incidents.

If you are not yet there, don’t worry, soon you will get there!

10 Random Rants of a Threenager Parent

Since my daughter is singing the potty song all the time and is curious about potty, I will start right there! It’s disgusting sometimes to discuss so much about potty! As an adult, I only consider it as a morning duty, there is nothing more than that. However, it is entirely different when I have to answer a lot of questions to my threenager.

1. The moment I want to use the loo, my daughter runs before me and occupies the bathroom. She says she wants to use it first! Well, those few seconds seem like hours to me! If I have learned one thing better than cursing, it is taking deep breaths! Maybe to convince myself that I can do nothing else, but wait, or to give me more patience and strength to hold it in!
2. When it comes to Banana, I don’t know why she finds it difficult to understand it is alright to eat a broken banana or a blackened one. Both look like monsters to her! When a banana breaks in half, there is this wail like a world war is about to start. When I run scared to check if she fallen down or hurt herself, it is just the banana! I can eat the banana, but she will not! The Queen doesn’t eat broken bananas!
3. She has all the energy to scatter things down. The moment I ask her to tidy up or clean up there comes the immediate reply, I am tired! Well, I just have one question, why are you not tired when you are scattering? At times, I go the edge and tell her if you think you are tired, I am exhausted. The result is that she just learned another word, exhausted!
4. Every morning when she is getting ready to go to school, she clearly picks her side. It must be daddy! She becomes daddy’s girl in the morning. That’s when she can tell Daddy that she is feeling sleepy and he will carry her to school. If mommy comes, she has to walk! When I ask my husband why isn’t he making her walk, he has an age old reply to that question – When I am in a hurry, she takes forever to walk! I cannot agree more to that reply.
5. With hair falling in her eyes, I hinted her about a haircut. She clearly said that she will not go for a cut. So a friend asked is she going to braid her hair, she said NO. She said she is growing it so she can wear pony tails. I feel this threenager has a strong opinion about her hairstyle.
6. When a drop of water spills on her dress, there is an immediate request to change it. When I tell her that it will dry in a few minutes, she replies instantly that she wants to change right now. Ten dresses in one day is too much for the washing machine to handle too!
7. When it comes to watching episodes on TV, it is always back to back. There’s always a, “Mom this is my last one for today” before the end of the previous episode! That’s like the 99th episode you’re watching for the 99th time and still you want to watch it one more time!
8. When it comes to meals, there’s always “Mom, this is my last bite.” However, when it comes to snacks, a quick ask is, “Can I have another snack, I sort of feel hungry!”
9. Give the first chance to use the bathroom to a guest and that’s all. She waits right outside the bathroom door saying it is urgent and that she wants to pee immediately. I guess the guest would feel the pressure of a threenager in just a few minutes.
10. We all know that the TV already belongs to them, so does the mobile, tab and every electronic device that ever exists. At times, I have no idea which episode she was watching. When she asks for a repeat, I am totally clueless and my stress levels rise until we find it and she finally says that’s the one she was watching!

If there’s one word I can relate a threenager to, it is REBEL. THREENAGER=REBEL. For a parent, it is major breathing episodes everyday! Well, though I was stressed the moment I started writing this post, I am honestly feeling a lot better now!

Threenagers are fun, sometimes!

The post 10 Random Stuff only Parents of a Threenager can Rant appeared first on One Happy Amma.

With the school off this week for term holidays, the daughter spent a good chunk of time watching the latest episodes from all her favorite shows. Yes, everything educated her about Halloween and she wanted to be dressed up as a monster this year. Since 2020 is our first year in UK during Halloween, we thought we might learn about it.

Right from Mickey Clubhouse to Hey Duggee and even JoJo and GranGran, everyone has told her something about Halloween. I thought it would be entertaining to host a treasure hunt at home. However, I wanted to know what was on my daughter’s mind.

My daughter has been watching only Halloween episodes since the last two days. Actually, I watched them too, because I did not have a great idea about it except that they use pumpkins. I figured it is more like our Indian tradition of Mahalaya Amavasya. This way, I was able to relate to All Hallows Eve or All Saints Day in better terms.

What we do on this day is that the living, pray for the souls of the dead. People place gifts or treats for the wandering souls. Just like us, here they offer a prayer and also place food for their ancestors and all souls. Halloween 2020 has helped me learn and relate to this lovely event. Since it is always fun to make this a business, it is now with too much scary drama promotion.

Since kids like to get stuff, this has become a ideal season to do the trick or treat. A good friend’s son has already told he would come to collect his treat; I wanted to know what he would do if I asked him to show me a trick. He said he would use his splash water gun on this chill evening to get the treat from me. Even the dead will forgive us, but these little monsters will bewitch us to get their treats.

For Halloween 2020, From my Daughter

When asked what she would go and tell people, she told me that she would ask them trick or treat and they would give her chocolates as treats! In turn, I asked her what if they asked her to show a trick? She said she would scream like a monster and then ask them to give her treats.

When asked how she wants to dress up for Halloween, she said she need sharp teeth and a black dress. I had to ask her this, where do you think I will get those sharp teeth? She replied that they are hiding in ASDA and we need to go and find them.

I had to convince her that shopping is closed for kids since we are on Tier 2 Lockdown. Well, I had to explain it with a story of cough and cold and how it affects everyone due to the weather. I think she understood and replied back saying that it is winter which means it is cold season and so we get cold.

Well, that sums up the cut down on shopping, but she came up with another idea. She needs to wear her night dress which is black and suits the occassion. I could not deny. A good friend of mine has offered to paint my little one’s face, but she has told me that it will be delicate when the brush touches her face. I could agree with her on that. It definitely feels that way!

She said she had trouble contemplating on an important thing. Is she going to be the good ghost or the bad one? I asked her what she wants to be. She told me that she would be both, the good one first, then the bad one. So, I am not sure how our first Halloween is going to be.

When you have a Know-it-All Miss Threenager, you go along with her and learn better! It is true that I learn something everyday in parenting because of my daughter. So, when it is good it just makes me feel so much enthusiastic and energetic!

So, with minimal to no painting, I have to now come up with a handmade wand that she can use and a spell that she can pronounce. Of all these, the biggest trick for me is not being able to send her with the rest of the kids this season. I need to be her companion. Do you think I am going to get dressed this Halloween?

Well, the charming me says, with the hair that already looks like it has had a shock spell, I cannot dress up separately for the occassion. I know it’s just fall, but with shivers, I might come out dressed up as the old witch in Snow White who offers her the apple.

Well, only I cannot offer anything to anyone except be the guardian to my little monster who goes about tricking or treating a couple of houses. What’s the spell do you think I must teach her? Also, what is your little monster planning for Halloween 2020?

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