What the eye can see the phone can sometimes not capture. Or, maybe should I say, the one holding the phone does not know how to capture.
We joined a friend’s family visiting the Warwickshire Lavender Farm today. The children are given a chart to find a list of bugs and birds. They were curious as they always are and started exploring the farm.
My daughter being the youngest of the three as well as the shortest, had an eye for detail. She spotted all the above – the dragon fly, peacock butterfly, damsel fly and the soldier beetle. Her friends joined in and appreciated her which was lovely to watch. They did this whole exercise together and looked out for each other all through their exploration.
While they found red kite, amongst other bugs, they showed her the tail, narrated to her why it’s called so. They found a lot more because of their visibility to many things that she couldn’t quickly identify. While among themselves they call her baby sometimes, but they all get along well. These kids I’ve noticed are not jealous of each other, but have their tantrums, hugs and being there for each other, in a way they know.
She was able to do this not only because she was short, but her curious eyes were attracted to the plants which were only as tall as her. The world is, as big as you are. The littlest things need all your care, gentleness and attention.
There’s always someone or the other who keeps pointing out that she is short for her age. I think it doesn’t really matter. A kid’s physical appearance must never be compared to another child. Neither must their ability to eat, every child is different. I’ve had the problem of being called thin until my early 30’s.
As a child, my parents were constantly pressured but they did not have the ability to explain to themselves or others that each kid is different. I do not blame them, I feel the pressure now. I’m being asked many questions and my child is being judged for her appearance.
At times, the pressure of someone trying to tell us that we are not bothered about our child, is painful. I have made peace with this. I know how much it hurts being called names, it happened to me. If there’s only one thing I can do as a parent now, let my child be.
Today when we visited the farm, all I could see was how curious she was, she loved exploring the farm. She had fun with her friends and all I could think was how cute they were all together.
At the end, what really matters is, how quickly and beautifully they grow up. There is no point in forcing a kid to do what they don’t want to. Give it time and they’ll figure it out.
Coming to the bugs and birds, how many could you find from the chart in your garden or during a walk in the park?
Never knew that the female dragon fly is a different coloured one (the blue one) and is called damsel fly. Also, the butterfly that hugged that strand of lavender was quite a sight to watch. Reminded me of disco lights.
Lady birds has been our favourite and we’ve found a lot of them in the plants near our community. Might need to browse through to put it in here. The lavender beetle looked a lot like the dog flee, but colourful.
Once we saw the damsel fly, we told them it’s beautiful and this is the first time we’re seeing a different coloured dragon fly. the first question from my daughter and her friend was: could we find them in purple or pink. We were like, we don’t think so, but who knows we never knew there was one in blue anyway.
My daughter held a caterpillar in her hand during one of her gardening classes. She was excited about it and they all searched for it among the lavender farm. Not sure why, but they decided it would be camouflaged among the green plants (amidst rosemary). Well, when they didn’t find any, we had to tell them maybe all the caterpillars had become butterflies.
After cajoling them with brownies and hot chocolate, to oblige to our photo sessions, we finally headed home.
Children – the purest, wildest and most creative beings on earth!
Your little one sure has an eye for detail! Spotting those tiny insects isn’t easy.
Hugs, Jaya. I can imagine how annoying it must be when people comment on your child. People rarely ever mind their own business, isn’t it? If you don’t have kids, they will badger you with questions about the absence of kids or when are you giving them the good news. If you have a kid, then they want to know when you will have another or compare them with others. It is so irritating and hurtful!
Absolutely right, Shilpa. I’ve written about it as well. These questions are totally irrelevant, one can even explain to kids, but to adults, there’s no point.😠
Those pictures are delightful Jayanthy. Children should go out to explore gardens and parks more often. Your daughter certainly has a keen eye. I am glad we now understand and appreciate that each child is different. My daughter too was always lean, even now as a teen she hasn’t put on weight and I was given plenty of grief too about her. However, as long as she is active and happy, I have learnt to not care.
Thanks for dropping by, Tulika. It’s true, it’s a lot of unlearning, but still getting there. I’m glad that I am learning to stand up for her now. I was myself the same until my daughter was born.
Such lovely pics, Jayanthy! I’m so glad to visit your blog after what seems like a long time. It’s wonderful to know that your daughter has a keen eye for detail! Growing up in a remote town in the hills, we got to explore nature a lot more (and identify birds and insects too!) than my son got to, since we have been living in a city. I grew up lean and was so until my early 40s, so I got a lot of “unsolicited advice” from well-meaning folks which I absolutely detested! My son was the same until almost 5 years ago. I guess we need to ignore such things and let our kids grow up happy being who they are. And the same goes for us—ignore the hurtful bits and move on. Not easy, but not impossible either.
Thanks for dropping by, Esha. Yes it’s been ages truly 😆 thanks a lot, we’re trying our best to let her explore what little we could offer. I’m lean myself and I’m in my late 30’s now. I wish to be the same for a longer time anyway and I like it 😆 It’s true sometimes the unsolicited advice gets to my heart and heats me up, trying to keep it at bay as much as I can. Thanks so much.
Beautiful pictures! I wish I could go for such a lovely farm visit. Looked like the children had a great time exploring nature and their inhabitants. Your daughter is a natural wild life enthusiast. You must be so proud of her. As for the other thing, I remember when my son didn’t start talking till he was two years old and how friends and my own family members used to tell me to do something about it. My daughter had started talking by the time she was 13 months old. Children do things at their own pace and we should let them be. Like you said every child is different and they should’nt be compared.
Kids are so curious about insects. It sometimes surprises me what all they can notice. Things that are easily ignored by us catches their attention. The world looks different from their eyes and their height. She loves being in nature, which itself is a great quality. It will keep her curious because nature has so many hidden gems, the excitement to find something new mever gets old.
And yes stay strong, kuch to log kahenge. You do whatever you think is the best for you and her.
My son didnt say mummy daddy or words till he was 2 and half years old. You can imagine my stress. But now at 4 he not just talks but reads story books too. They all grow up at their own pace. Sending you lots of love.
Yes, let the kids be. Let them grow at their pace, doing what they enjoy doing. Their appearance has no relevance as long as they are happy and thriving well. I was also a skinny girl for a long time. Now I dread every time before our India trip as the questions have shifted from me being skinny to gained weight. I dread these questions though I know how to deal with them. But as kids these comments are soul crushing. What is the point of everyone looking the same, doing a similar job, living a similar life?
It’s lovely to know that your daughter had a wonderful time exploring the lavender farm finding all sorts of bugs and birds. This was a beautiful read, Jayanthy. ♥️