Kids are intuitive and interesting to talk with. What they talk about teaches us what they are taught and what they listen to. I am continuing the chronicles of a stay at home mom of a toddler here.
As parents, we have a vital role to perform with kids. It is about what we share with them, what we feed their minds and how we make them feel. I really thought parenting was child’s play until I became a parent.
Since then, I am learning what it is like to be a parent. Most of the times, we’re just observers of their growth. Sometimes, the whole parenting process helps the parent more than the child.
The Working Mom versus Stay-at-home mom
This is one of the prime decisions that every woman is questioned or judged about. It is also the most debated topic at every family session or whenever someone comes home.
Some have to work, some have to stay at home, whereas some love to work, and for others they love to stay at home. Each of their decision is theirs to make.
When a working mom says you are lucky enough to be with your child all day, I smile and say, we all need to make peace with our decisions!
I enjoy every moment as a stay at home mom of a toddler, but there are times when I miss work. To be honest, I miss the focus that I used to have as a tester. Anyway, I realized it is time to try for other options now.
I will never be able to take up an IT job after this with my mindset. It is time to look for other opportunities which will let me enjoy both worlds!
That’s the speciality of being a woman. We can excel in anything we take up when we enjoy the process. Still, most stay at home moms are judged easily than moms who work.
As a stay-at-home mom, I admire the bravery of the working mom. I am scared to leave my child back at home and work somewhere. As mothers, wherever we are, we think about our children, and that is alright!
So, I decided I’d better be a stay at home mom for a while than work with a suffocated mind. Hence, I appreciate both the working women and the stay at home moms for standing by their decision at all times.
Silence to a Stay at Home Mom of a Toddler
As a stay at home mom of a toddler, I enjoy every moment of silence. Even going out to the regular grocers on my own is a pleasure.
On most evenings, my husband takes her out for a while. I value my alone time more just like I love to see their bond grow.
Some wonder why a woman needs her lone time. I mean who doesn’t like to enjoy with kids or take care of the house, all the time.
We all need to pour from somewhere, right? If we do not have anything to pour from, then what do we do? Our emotions run wild and we are uncontrollably mad.
Having some ‘me’ time is a must every day. The lone time varies for each person and everybody does it differently.
Some read books, watch TV, write a piece, doodle in a journal, walk around, bake, crochet, sit quiet, keep scrolling their mobiles, sleep well or even chit-chat with others. It differs for everyone.
No judgements are needed for what they enjoy. Sometimes women are know-it-all, but doing-it-all is in their hands. We never see our time the same way, using it in a productive way helps us grow better.
I am experiencing what it is like to be a mother and a child. I used to wonder how mothers kept the child in them alive.
Now, I realized that even most shy people become more expressive after becoming mothers.
We talk mostly like our toddlers, and we’re getting excited about everything. If you are with your kid, you are in good company, well, think otherwise.
Who you surround yourself with you become!Unknown
There’s this little pup who barks her all the time. She comes out for a walk and starts barking when she sees kids or anybody. My daughter and other kids always want to hold her, but she keeps crying all the time.
The moment I hear her bark while in the kitchen, I call my daughter to watch through the window.
I don’t know what is there to get excited about a dog barking at us all the time, but I am happy to call her over. We laugh about how she keeps crying all the time. What is considered nuisance has become fun.
You exclaim in pure joy about simple things in everyday life. When my family shared these experiences, I was laughing with joy.
One day at work before the pandemic times, my sister told me that everyone at work turned to look at her in surprise.
She was clapping her hands after she finished a ticket. Her team couldn’t help but laugh at her for being a child.
Well, it was a bigger surprise when my uncle told me that even he did the same thing at work. Kids can be addictive, right?
My Weaknesses as a Stay at Home Mom of a Toddler
I understood how messy I am than my toddler. If one had to rate me and my toddler’s messiness, mine would top the list.
My meltdowns are reaching new heights now and then. I will have a meltdown once every month. I have always apologized for my mistakes with others too.
That has helped me a lot in apologizing to my daughter. I sit down and explain to her about my mistake and what caused me to flare up at that moment.
We end our conversation by asking sorry to each other. We finish it with a hug.
I have so many learnings that have made me cringe about myself. I went from being the best woman to the worst mother kind of feeling.
It is not easy, sometimes. I flare up because I cannot handle myself. I am emotionally changing for the better every day because I want to be a better mother.
Motherhood is a journey that pushes you to make better choices every day. I am continually working on becoming a better mother since I vowed to be One Happy Amma when I first held my bundle of joy.
Being a chatterbox might not have helped the world. Instead, it has helped me make a little human being to learn a few words from my constant chatter.
I always used to love socializing, but now I learned the importance of silence in daily life. I’d rather keep quiet for a few minutes than talk.
Nowadays, I dance like no one is watching. I used to be shy enough not to move a limb in front of my family. Now, I am more expressive than before.
My mother laughs out so loud that I could hear her here in London. The No-Phone Rule or the Clean the Room rule applies to me first. What happens next is simply my daughter following the way!
I strongly believed that I could manage my kid to follow everything. Soon enough, I realized unless I change myself there is no way she is going to follow certain things.
Parents are their first example at everything. When I clean the house, she goes up to her toys and arranges them. At times, my daughter advices me to keep the phone down only because it will hurt my eyes.
I am already stunned by the questions of kids today. Either their parents are talking too much in front of them or do not know where to stop them.
Unfortunately, I am a strict mom, and people find me frightful. Well, I am a parent, not a friend to my daughter at this stage. I do a lot of mistakes too, but I accept my mistakes and work on it.
Some parents do not understand the basic rules as simple as “No shoes inside the house.”
Simple manners work anywhere you go. If your toddler is already walking, you better remove their shoes before they come into my house.
I do not bother if you have bought them just today, and they are brand new. Shoes are only shoes, and they are supposed to be left outside.
Do Kids Like Strict Parents?
Children follow rules easily. When parents encourage wrong behavior, it becomes an easy excuse for kids.
The other day, a friend’s son came over for lunch. He ate half the food without complaining, then his father called. He asked the son how come he is eating something he doesn’t like much. From then, he started staring at the plate and looking at me.
Kids change when rules are enforced on them. They just don’t like rude behavior, I can strongly say as a stay at home mom of a toddler that they love when their parents are strict.
Being Judgemental as a Parent
It is easy to be judgemental towards everyone. As a parent, your children are your reflection until they go out, see the real world, and learn for themselves.
I have judged people, but I have learned to move away to avoid complaining about people too.
I know two kinds of mothers. Some struggle sincerely to bond better with their children. Some try to be so proud of their children that they forget to draw a line for them!
I am at my best on some days and my worst on other days. I am a work in progress, which I have learned to accept and acknowledge as an individual.
Children are the world to us, but it is they who teach the world to us! Remember to give them a worthy life as a parent!
I learn a lot from my daughter as a stay at home of a toddler. It is surprising because I never expected to learn much from somone so small.
Initially, I thought that I will teach her things as a parent, but there is less I teach her. Hence, these lessons are special to me.
As a mother, I hope you are learning a lot from your children too. I would love to hear from you.
You can read Part 1 here. In Part 3, I will be sharing about my chronicles with my daughter.