My Journey as a Mother

What I learn as a Stay at Home Mom to a Toddler?

A child’s laugh is contagious, but their attitude towards their sickness is outrageous. Being a stay at home mom to a toddler is an intense period of parenting. 

Toddlers sprinkle many beautiful moments in our lives every day. They make us smile so many times every day that I have lost count of it. Their happiness is infectious and contagious.

A mother kissing her child
Image Courtesy: Photo by Fernanda Greppe on Unsplash

As a toddler mother, I experienced many changes from the day my daughter started talking. Children bring perspective to some lives. On a personal note, I think my daughter just used her wand and snapped my head to wake me up from a dream!

My pregnancy news initially worried me since I felt it was too early. However, the pregnancy journey was a beautiful one. I was elated when I saw my daughter for the first time.

Could I grow such a beautiful fragile being inside me? I don’t know if I shower her unconditional love, but she showers me with it every day!

I became a mother precisely three weeks before my big 30. It was a significant shift for me like every other mother. In case you are wondering, yes, we are Geminis. 

My husband and I firmly believed our gut instinct that we would have a girl. So, when the doctor announced the baby was a girl, we just smiled. 

Instead, my thoughts were about when did I bite my lip and how swollen it is. I was wondering how come the little one had so much hair, but I never vomited, per pregnancy myths.

Life as a Stay at Home Mom to a Toddler

Before 3-years, I did not have the slightest idea of what it would be like to be a mother. I did not think anything about pregnancy or giving birth to a baby.

Now, in these 3-years, so much has changed. Being a stay at home mom to a toddler has made me both vulnerable as well as brave.

Mom and child on a picnic
Image Courtesy: Unsplash

Having a toddler can bring so much laughter and tears too. They make us realize our mistakes as well as our strengths in the cutest possible ways.

We only need the courage to accept those as it is! I love to share here some of the perks of being a stay at home mom to a toddler. I also share here one of the most common issues we face as a stay at home mom.

 As a mother, I keep thinking about how they grow up too quickly too soon. That’s one reason I try to spend a little bit extra time with her every day. 

Even though I miss every bit of my alone time throughout the day, something inside me tells, she would miss me more now than later. 

I cannot tolerate the thought of her missing me a lot now. It cools my frustration about missing MY life now. 

Forget grand words like sacrifice and all that; it is really about cherishing moments together!

Let me share with you what I learn being a stay at home mom to a toddler! Oh, yeah, there are a lot of side effects to this!

Be aware, you might get fits of laughter here and there, some deep thinking, and you might become more informed!

Let’s get started with the toddler drama that made me write this post. What’s the best thing about their drama? It is worth laughing about after it’s all said and done! My toddler makes my life GRAND every day!

Couch Chronicles

I am starting with the couch because of a recent episode that happened on the sofa.

Our poor old couch will tell its own set of stories. The jumping is nothing, totally nothing, but the spilling, ah! We don’t eat food on the couch at our place. We sit on the floor and eat.

Lemon on the sofa.
Image Courtesy: Photo by Inside Weather on Unsplash

A friend visited and asked us about the couch cover since it neatly covers the sofa. I had to laugh and explain that it was a single bed mattress cover that we had bought by mistake.

Accidental spilling on the couch is different, but throwing things on the sofa for the sake of it and pretending it fell on its own, is one of the new drama now!

Aren’t they learning every day? Why something falls, how something falls, is it capable of landing on its own? So, here’s what she wanted to know.

Toddler: Amma, I wonder why the water always spills when I sit on the couch!
Me: Ammu, it is because you don’t hold it with care!
Toddler: Then, why do you think the orange falls off the couch by itself?
Me: Maybe you wanted to know how it reacts to falling on or off the couch?
Toddler: The orange does not know how to sit on the couch!
Me: You’re supposed to place it in a bowl or hold it in both your hands carefully. Otherwise, it will roll down because it does not have any corners or sides for support.
Toddler: So, Orange is a Circle, right?
Me: Yes, we can say it is round in shape too.

The sly smile indicates she did it on purpose. I just tell her that she is supposed to keep food safe because it gives us strength and helps her grow tall.

The curious look determines she is learning something new. It makes me less judgemental towards my child.

Let it be biscuit crumbs dropped between the gaps or twistable crayons that often become birthday candles; it all has a place on the couch.

Reflex of a Mother

Last week, my husband and I were watching a video on the mobile while my daughter was jumping on the couch right next to me.

One moment she was jumping on the couch and the next she fell out of it by accident. I still don’t know how, but I held her by her shorts to prevent the accident.

Woman working on a laptop on a Sofa
Photo by Inside Weather on Unsplash

I had no slightest idea about my reflex until then. My daughter managed to keep her hands down to prevent her fall. It helped me understand her reflexes too.

However, we were laughing about it for a long time together! I couldn’t stop laughing even as I wrote this!

Some kids amuse me! As a mother, I must not say this, but honestly, I am not a fan of all kids. I have my limits to bend with kids. I snap too soon, ask my daughter, and she will tell you that just at 3.

On Eating Chocolates

We all always have that extra space for chocolate in our tummy. It is just the same with these tiny tots. Come on, Who doesn’t love chocolates? Maybe, I must rephrase it to which kid doesn’t love chocolate?

Cadbury's Chocolates on a plate
Image Courtesy: Photo by Burhanuddin Rabbani on Unsplash

When the hubby and daughter go shopping, the first thing on their list is chocolate. Then, maybe balloons, bubbles, followed by home stuff.

My husband loves chocolates and keeps a simple logic for her. She is not supposed to fuss over. She needs to ask for them like she would any dish she likes. He makes the whole process reasonable and enjoyable for her.

I try my best to keep giving chocolates a simple routine. Masha loses her tooth because of eating too many chocolates. So she agrees to gargle her mouth or brush her teeth, every time she eats chocolates.

Wait it Out, Darling

Tiny tots these days are very smart. When the daughter learned that she is supposed to open and eat her chocolate only after billing it, she always waits.

I am happy because she knows she will definitely get the chocolates. All she needs to do is wait until we finish shopping. She knows to wait until the shopping is done and the products are paid for.

A girl eating ice cream
Image Courtesy: Photo by Shalev Cohen on Unsplash

There is no fuss over consuming it immediately like she has not seen it before. Or, she doesn’t force us to go and bill things immediately so she could relish them.

When chocolates become a royalty, we tend to eat more. Now chocolates are everywhere to attract children; we eat it regularly; it is not a big fuss, but I try to keep it to one time a day.

Is she eating other foods more than once a day? No, right! For the daughter, chocos are not chocolate, but for me, there is chocolate in many other products she consumes apart from the regular chocolate.

I don’t make my child plead for chocolates. She needs to ask without crying or fussing over it. To prevent a lot of my own fuss, I make these homemade chocolates! Anyway, we are going to eat them, why not make these too at home!

On Being Judged as a Stay at Home Mom to a Toddler:

Is there a woman who is not judged by the world? Is there a woman who is not judged by another woman?

Since I quit work, I have always faced so many questions coming my way. Those who asked me to leave my job for my family earlier now ask me why I quit?

Photo of Law Hammer
Image Courtesy: Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash

Anyway, I quit because I wanted to give staying at home a trial. I wanted to know what it is like to stay at home to take care of a family.

Though initially, everything was going great, I got into the regular trench of homemakers. I was constantly complaining about everything.

I learned an important lesson as a homemaker. It is essential who you surround yourself with and what you allow to consume you. Everyone wants to talk, but no one wants to do the job. So, it is better to get it done rather than unnecessarily fret over it.

I have made a lot of mistakes in the last 4-years I have stayed at home. What I planned to do while I stayed at home was often sidetracked. I realized it takes real guts to have a hold at home too.

I was one of the women who complained about women at home doing nothing. Now, I was there which made me change my thinking. I firmly believe in the saying, “It takes a woman to make or break a home.”

Learning from my Mistakes

As a stay at home to a toddler, I learned my first lesson through her. She hardly gained weight in the first year, but I gained a few pounds.

I went through a lot of distress in the name of jokes about me eating up all the food, instead of feeding the little one. Honestly, I didn’t know back then that giving subtle replies then and there would have shut many of their opinions.

A woman writing in her journal.
Image Courtesy: Photo by Tai’s Captures on Unsplash

I have gone through the phase where people think I do nothing at home other than spend time with my toddler all day.

Yes, that is true, I am not doing all that you think I must do. Instead, I do what I need to do to keep a home running, to keep myself fueled and my conscience clear.

I do something more important than pleasing people every day. As a mother, I am learning to celebrate life with my toddler in her most important years.

We all work towards making our child independent. I am trying my best to stand back and learn to allow her to do her things.

If you think I am lazy because I ask my child to drop her plate in the sink, then you have to revisit your thoughts as an individual!

As parents, we show her through actions that it is necessary to ask help only when you need it. Making other people work for your basic needs unless you are sick or old is called being lazy.

I make an effort to keep meals healthy and simple on the home front. Nowadays, I don’t work in the kitchen to prove myself or show off that I am a valuable resource at home.

As a mother, I have a lot to experiment on, along with taking care of the house. Some of my unnecessary chatter to please people had backfired in the past. From it, I learned it is best to keep the mouth shut than open it for petty conversations.

Handling Finances

Some people think a woman who stays at home has no right to buy things for herself. She must not have any needs of her own. When a woman spends money for herself, it is considered merely wasted.

Money on a plate
Image Courtesy: Unsplash

There is a big difference between living luxuriously on your hubby’s income versus taking care of your needs with your hubby’s money. All you need to do is ignore the talks and handle your finances in a better way.

Do you know what’s more annoying to some people? How can you be happy staying at home when you are not earning a penny.

That’s because I live with a clear conscience, buddy! It doesn’t matter whether you are working or not; what matters is how you invest in the resources you get!

If you’d like to read more about my what I learn as a stay at home mom to a toddler, feel free to read Part 2. Here I talk more about learning with my daughter and why self-discipline of a parent is important!

What I learn as a Stay at Home Mom to a Toddler Pinterest Poster for One Happy Amma.
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